Category: News

We’re so excited to share with you that we are launching our first ever Celebrating Families Week from 10th-16th June 2024!

Our Celebrating Families Week is dedicated to families affected by alcohol and drugs across the country. The week highlights the challenges families face and champions their love and power.

Join us and together we can break the stigma, encourage open conversations, and be a beacon of hope to those facing a challenging and complex part of life.

We invite you to share our messages, attend an event, and participate in conversations that provide comfort and support for families.

Once you register to take part in the awareness week, we’ll send you updates on events and big moments, and a few weeks before launch, we’ll send you a resource pack full of information for families, social media posts, posters, leaflets, and much more. This can be either a digital pack or we can send you one in the post (limited supply on a first-come first-serve basis). We will send the resource packs out a few weeks before the launch date of June 10th.

Let’s create a supportive space for families affected by alcohol and drugs.

If you have any questions or want to share ideas, please email Rebecca on our team rebecca@sfad.org.uk

“Routes is my safe place where I know I will always be listened to and staff are always on hand when I need them personally, at school or at college. They made college so easy helping me apply, sorting my funding and of course taking me to my induction. I told a staff member my dream job was working in Lush, they called the store got me an interview and I worked there in the lead up to Christmas. I mean who does that for someone like me? Routes does! I have had so many experiences in the past 5 years because of Routes, there is to many trips to tell you them all. I even went on a plane for the first time in my life to Orkney. I have made lifelong friends at the groups who understand what I have went through. Routes staff always think about what it is we want to do not what they think is best and support us in whatever we need. I am a confident thanks to staff at Routes always having my back when I need them.” – Ashley, aged 17

We’re thrilled to announce that Routes Young Person’s programme has been shortlisted for a prestigious YouthLink Award, recognising its outstanding contributions to youth development and empowerment. This nomination stands as a testament to the dedication and impact of the programme in the lives of young people, providing them with opportunities, support, and a platform to thrive.

At the heart of Routes is the principle of co-production, where young people actively participate in shaping the programme. From picking the name to creating the logo, every decision is made with their involvement. Heather beautifully captures the essence of this collaboration, stating, “We picked the name, every time I see it, I feel part of something and proud that I did that. Making something all these years ago that’s so important today.”

Summer, aged 13, shares her experience, highlighting the transformative nature of Routes: “What I like about Routes is when you say something like I want to go swimming. They make it happen, like it’s a dream that actually comes true.” This emphasis on turning aspirations into reality empowers young people to take ownership of their lives.

Sophie, aged 17, emphasises the personalised approach of Routes, stating, “Everything is focused on you and what you like doing. Claire knows I like Jaffa Cakes and every group activity brings Jaffa Cakes. It’s the small things that matter.” Such attention to detail fosters a supportive and inclusive environment where every young person feels valued.

Routes doesn’t just stop at participation; it actively recognises and nurtures the skills and achievements of young people. Eight individuals have completed Youth Dynamic Awards, with six more in progress. These awards, tailored to individual interests and goals, provide a pathway for personal development and recognition.

Moreover, Routes has supported 62 young people in further education, training, and employment. This includes assisting 37 individuals in attending college, offering comprehensive support ranging from application assistance to transportation guidance. For care-experienced young people, Routes ensures access to additional support, including the care-experienced bursary and advocacy within colleges.

The programme has also facilitated employability training courses for 16 young people, paving the way for paid employment opportunities. With dedicated assistance in CV writing, job applications, and interview preparation, Routes empowers young people to pursue their career aspirations.

Beyond structured activities, Routes provides consistent support through drop-in sessions at local schools and one-to-one meetings. By maintaining close communication with pastoral care teachers, Routes ensures holistic support for young people, addressing concerns and advocating for their needs within the educational system.

Tash’s journey exemplifies the transformative impact of Routes. Despite facing significant challenges, including anxiety and school refusal, Tash found hope and support through the programme. With guidance and encouragement, Tash discovered his passion for mechanics and flourished at Clydebank College, achieving 100% attendance and newfound confidence in his abilities.

Routes young person’s programme stands as a beacon of empowerment and support for young people, providing them with the tools and opportunities to realise their potential. As we celebrate our nomination for the YouthLink Award, we remain committed to our mission of fostering resilience, growth, and success in the lives of every young person we serve.

Artist Extraordinaire Antonia Rolls is visiting Glasgow to deliver workshops and her renowned exhibition “Addicts And Those Who Love Them” alongside charity Scottish Families Affected by Alcohol and Drugs.

The open and free exhibition will be displayed at Edward House in Sauchiehall Street on Sunday 24^th March  from 12pm – 6pm with Antonia there to chat to attendees about her work. The exhibition is the first of its kind for Scottish Families and will focus on grief of losing someone we love and living beyond loss. It will focus on understanding substance use and creating a space of empathy, understanding and hope.

The exhibition is vital for families affected by alcohol and drugs to connect with how they are feeling, be creative, and give time back to themselves which is often non-existent in their chaotic lives. The sold-out workshops on the Saturday will see family members hear about Antonia’s personal experiences of grief, the complexities of substance use and how to find resilience in a difficult life. In the afternoon, family members will work together to make creative pieces of art called life boards, some which will be available to view at the Sunday exhibition.

Antonia Rolls comments:

“Addicts and Those Who Love Them is an exhibition about love, humanity and the truth. Drugs and alcohol destroy lives, communities and families but we still love them unconditionally. Despite the chaos so many of us don’t give up. I have painted portraits of people in addiction, out of it and those working alongside it to help. The exhibition was inspired wanting to understand my son’s addictions and alcoholism, and though he did not make it and died last year, the exhibition has created huge compassion and connections for me and those in it.

I am so honoured to be working with Scottish Families Affected by Alcohol and Drugs for this hugely important Cost of Loving weekend. The work they do is very important, supporting anyone suffering from drug and alcohol problems. I have loved planning this weekend with them and am grateful to them for their kindness and hard work.”

Scottish Families CEO, Justina Murray, says:

“It is a huge privilege to welcome Antonia Rolls to Glasgow to lead Scottish Families’ Cost of Loving art exhibition event.

Antonia is a talented and renowned artist, but she is also a mum who has been deeply affected by her son Costya’s substance use, and his tragic early death. She truly understands what life is like for so many of our families, and she is not afraid to express how this really looks and feels.

There is so much stigma, shame and secrecy around alcohol and drug use in the family, and family members often find themselves ignored, judged and shut out. Antonia has stepped into this space so families can be seen and heard, and to share her own experiences of love, loss, darkness and light.

This will be a safe and inspiring space to reflect, remember, celebrate, challenge and connect. We hope to see you there!”

Scottish Families is working to reduce cost of living pressures for families, and to reach families where alcohol and drug harm has increased as a result. We are very aware that for families affected by a loved one’s alcohol or drug use, the cost of living is just one of the many challenges they face on a daily basis. Our families face an everyday and ongoing crisis which will outlive the timescale of the current financial situation. This is the Cost of Loving, a relentless and exhausting tally of financial, practical, relationship and emotional costs. This art exhibition is only part of our goal to reduce these pressures on families.

Our Helpline Over the Holidays

• Helpline will run as normal and close on – Friday 22nd December
• Normal service delivery to resume – Wednesday 3rd January

If you need any support over the holidays, you can contact:

• NHS 111 – 111
• Breathing Space – 0800 83 85 87
• Samaritans – 116 123
• Police Scotland – 101 (for non-emergencies)
• If it’s an emergency please call 999

Support Booklet

We share our heartfelt support and guidance to every family member across Scotland who is dealing with challenging circumstances this year. The constant stream of festive cheer everywhere we go, coupled with the pressure to have a traditional celebration can make this season particularly difficult for those of us struggling.

Remember, it’s okay to prioritise self-care and set boundaries for your own well-being. Connect with trusted friends, family, or support groups, and don’t hesitate to reach out to us if needed. The team wishes you resilience, strength, and moments of peace through this holiday season.

This short booklet shares our Helpline over Christmas and some helpful contacts. We also have some information for planning for Christmas, along with a beautiful written piece from Antonia Rolls.

Read our support booklet here

The Scottish Families Snowflake

Our lovely family member, Amanda Barr, has created another illustration for us to use this winter. We chose a snowflake as they are all unique, like every family in Scotland affected by alcohol and drugs. Amanda felt very connected to this image and we just want to give our heartfelt thanks to her for making something so wonderful.

Christmas or any other holiday period can be a hard time for people experiencing bereavement. Whether it is your first holiday without your loved one, or if you have had many, it can be a tough time of year. We are regularly told, through TV, songs and social media that Christmas is a time to be with family, which can make you miss your loved one more. You may find that your emotions feel less controlled – people have described feeling ‘irrationally’ angry at things; bursting into tears for no reason and feeling particularly anxious at this time of year – perhaps anxious about how to get through the ‘festivities’. The pressure to be enjoying yourself can exacerbate these feelings. These feelings are all normal and you are not alone this Christmas – many families are facing similar concerns.

Some tips for ‘getting through’ Christmas when you are grieving someone:

Plan what you want to do ahead of time: have a think about who you want to be with (if anyone), what you want to be involved with, and what you don’t. Communicate this ahead of time to those around you. Also, think about what you want to do and don’t be scared to change up traditions if it is too painful to do the same thing, for example, you might want to go out somewhere rather than stay at home.

Do things differently: If you usually do all the cooking but don’t feel up to it this year, ask someone else to do it or go out for a meal. Relieve yourself of responsibilities that feel unmanageable.

Write down your anxieties and make plans on how to cope with them: sometimes when we write down the things we are worried about it can lessen our anxiety. It can also help us to problem solve and plan how we are going to deal with them, so nothing comes as a surprise. For example, if you are worried you will get upset in front of others, a solution for this may be to let those you will be with know that this is a concern and that you plan to remove yourself from the room if this happens. Maybe also discuss with them what they can do if this happens – if you want to be left alone, or if you want someone to leave the room with you.

It is okay to ‘opt out’ of the festivities: if you are not feeling up to it, it is okay to remove yourself, either for the whole planned event, or for parts of it. Do what feels right for you.

Allow yourself time to grieve: it is okay to feel sad at Christmas, or any other time of year. Pretending you are not can be exhausting.

‘Involve’ your loved one who has died: have a think about if and how you want to ‘involve’ your loved one who has died. It might be nice to dedicate some time to sharing memories of them or to write a letter to them. If you feel you want to involve them in the day, then do.

Be kind to yourself: grief is difficult and tiring. Try to look after yourself emotionally, physically and practically. If you are struggling with any of it, don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Don’t feel guilty for enjoying yourself: moments of enjoyment or happiness don’t diminish your grief. Enjoy these moments of respite from your grief and try not to feel guilty for them.

When we have lost someone we love, Christmas will never be the same.

At this time of year, when families can feel pressure and isolation at a time when smiles and joy are expected, we are coming together to shine our light.

Each light on our online tree represents the love we have for our families, wherever they are.

With Scottish Families no-one needs to feel alone. Every donation to our tree will help make sure we are here when they need us, the leading charity in Scotland providing expert support for families.

Will you help us by donating and dedicating a Light of Love and Memory?

I have lost my son. I lost him many years ago, while he was still alive. I kept hoping that he would come back, that I would find him again, that somehow he would have the will to leave the drugs and drink behind, but he could not.

The months before he died, he seemed to wake up, and look around him at the world he had created for himself. I thought, “He is coming back, there is hope.” We talked from the heart, and he admitted he had drink and drug problems, as if I did not know, but until that point, he denied it all. Despite falling over in the street, despite running into the traffic screaming and trying to take his clothes off, despite all the calls to the emergency services from members of the public terrified of his strange behaviour, my son did not agree that he took drugs and drank alcohol. Even after a short stay at my house once, when I uncovered five empty litre bottles of vodka hidden in his room, he said they must have been someone else’s. Even when I had to ban him from coming home and block his number because I was frightened of him, he said he didn’t drink and take drugs. “I’m in control,” he said, when patently, he was not.

A week before he died, he came to stay, bringing his partner. Somehow, in the chaos and squalor of his life, amidst the dirt and darkness of his flat, with the overflowing loo and broken windows, the months of dirty crockery in the sink and the piles of old rotting food under foot, someone came into his life and wanted to look after him. A miracle, I thought. Another lost, lonely young man, who had been where my son was, stepped into his life and tried to help. A miracle, I thought, a miracle. Now I know there is hope.

But the darkness of addiction is not so easily put away. The years of increasing dependency on substances and drink wove a powerful, destructive, paranoid and lonely blanket of hopelessness around him. Sometimes, he remembered that he was more than all this, but the pull of the drugs, the intense need for more and more, addled his brain and his body, so that at 29 he was like an old man with Alzheimer’s. Until his partner took him in hand and cleaned him up, he would not wash or change his clothes for months. He would sleep where he fell and forget to eat because the vodka was all he wanted.

For a long time I did not know what I was seeing when he began to spiral out of control. It began in his teens. He was lonely, he was different, he was gay and didn’t want me to know but I did know. And I didn’t care, but it seemed to be too much for him to make public. This was why bringing his partner home for a week just before he died was so wonderful. Not only that he had found love, but that he saw that we all only cared that he was happy. It blew his mind a bit, and I know it made him happy. As happy as someone who was falling further and further into the darkness could be.

When I found him on that Friday in February, on his sofa in that dark and lonely flat, dead and cold, his bottle of vodka next to him, a used needle on the table, I knew the crazy was over. The worst and the best had happened. His life was over and he was gone but he had escaped the torment of living and had become free of pain forever.

My beautiful son, so troubled and so different, had left the mayhem of his life and had gone where nothing and no one could hurt him again. Sitting in his flat with him before the police and ambulance came, I thought that the darkness that had become like a suffocating fog cutting out all the light had got his body and his mind but it had not got his soul. He had gone the only way he felt he could and left this world. The darkness could not and would not follow him. It had lost him, and he was free.

The paradox is that I miss him so much, but also the madness is over. I don’t fear calls from numbers withheld or from numbers I don’t recognise any more. I do not have panic filled days and nights when he is found overdosing, or nearly dead in a squalid flat, or when he is frightened for his life from shadowy and vicious people that know where he lives. He is completely safe and beyond all that.

We gave him such a wonderful funeral. We had to wait until he was released by the coroner, and his inquest is still ongoing as I write. I don’t have a death certificate for him yet. But we gave him such a send-off, he came back in his coffin to spend the last night in my house with his family, and all the friends and people who wouldn’t make a church funeral came to say goodbye. After his funeral the next day, we drove to the cemetery in the beautiful Sussex Downs and buried him next to his grandmother and uncle. As we arrived at the cemetery, a storm of such ferocity blew up that we could hardly stand in the wind and rain. We all thought it was his way of saying goodbye. It was utterly biblical.

So now, what do I have? I have the memory of a beautiful, troubled soul who was with me for just 29 years.

I have the joy of all the times – and there were times especially towards the end – when he and I truly saw each other. I caught a glimpse of his soul, and he told me he loved me. I am grateful for the hard lessons he taught me. I believe that after the dust has settled when we have lost someone we love, we can see the gifts they left us. I am just beginning to sense the gifts my son has left me, and they involve love, and courage, and learning not to judge, and understanding that though love is important, it cannot save. My son left this earth through a door into such brilliant brightness and I like to think that he did not fully close that door behind him. Sometimes, I think I can see him in my mind’s eye, on the other side of that door, smiling and well and whole in the most wonderful rehab that nothing on this earth could match.

The legacy from my son is sorrow, love, courage and gratitude.

If you’d like to follow Antonia or read more of her work, visit her website here.

When we have lost someone we love, Christmas will never be the same.

At this time of year, when families can feel pressure and isolation at a time when smiles and joy are expected, we are coming together to shine our light.

Each light on our online tree represents the love we have for our families, wherever they are.

With Scottish Families no-one needs to feel alone. Every donation to our tree will help make sure we are here when they need us, the leading charity in Scotland providing expert support for families.

Will you help us by donating and dedicating a Light of Love and Memory?