Home Forums Newbies Corner Unsure and confused!

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • Author
  • #4718

    Hello everyone, new to this sort of thing but at a loss with a dilemma, hoping to find someone with all the answers! (If they actually exist…..)

    Bit of background, I work in the marine industry where a zero tolerance to drugs and alcohol is one of the major aspects after safety. I have been militant in my career so far in avoiding drugs, had a few close calls with alcohol on my travels, a few hangovers that I should have kept in my cabin rather than the engine room! I’m no angel but I worry so much about getting everyone I’m responsible for home with the same amount of fingers and toes they came to work with. I have made 2 calls to date to families telling them the terrible news that their loved one has died and never wish to do this again. I never thought I would question this attitude.

    Recently though however my best friend on board staring acting a little weird. Well, weird for him. He was a lot more animated, 100% more confident and was like the flash around the ship. He’s a great guy but not the fastest or most motivated worker! I took him under my wing when he started and strived to get the best out of him as he has two young kids who remind me a lot of my boys. Since he has a young family I put this new found work ethic down to him getting his finger out and working hard to provide for them. I’m godfather to one of his boys and I love his kids about as much as my own, his mrs is awesome and they are just the best. They both helped me out a lot when a relationship of mine broke down. He visited every day (with a 4 hour round trip each time) and I actually think he saved me.
    I’m getting more and more worried though because I’m starting to get the idea he has had some chemical assistance when he’s on board, he’s had a totally different demeanour when he’s ashore at home. He is up one minute and flying then the next anxious and paranoid. I have googled all the symptoms for different drugs and in my role as ships medic I do have experience of this before. I suspect bc cocaine. If it was anyone else, I would have kicked him out the engine room, searched his cabin and gear with the captain and a witness of his choosing and if anything’s found, report to the police, the coastguard and his marine medical provider. I have found myself avoiding this however.
    It’s killing me because I sort of don’t want to know the truth, because I know what it would do to him, his wife and his kids. He loves his job and wouldn’t/couldn’t do anything else. His wife would be devestated and he could lose his kids. I can’t bring myself to be the one to do this to him. However, I would not be able to live with myself either if he injured himself or even worse, another crew member when I knew about it and did nothing. Not to mention I would leave myself open to prosecution and even a manslaughter charge. My kids would be affected then.
    I just don’t know what to do and up until now I have just buried my head in the sand. I’m scared if I talk to him I’ll either make it worse, lose him as a friend or have him confide in me and then confirm my fears.
    I don’t think I can talk to his wife either as I’m sure she doesn’t know and I think he’s be furious if I went around him.
    Does someone have the answer? Can someone offer advice on what to do? How do I help him without hurting him?

    Thanks in advance


    Follow up – Apologies for the spelling and grammar mistakes, don’t hold it against me and please blame iPhone autocorrect!

    Rebecca Bradley

    Hi Craig,

    I’m so sorry no one has been in touch. We are currently in the process of removing our message boards because as you can see – they’re quite inactive!

    Would you be able to contact our helpline? 08080 10 10 11 or helpline@sfad.org.uk, or if you’d like me to arrange a call-back for you, let me know!

    Sorry again.

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

We use cookies. By browsing our site you agree to our use of cookies.