By Millie Mann, Communications Officer for Families Outside
Families Outside understands the impact it can have when a family member or loved one goes to prison. Sometimes people can feel as if they are seen as guilty by association, just because of their loved one’s involvement in the justice system.
However, it is important to remember that this is not the case: you have done nothing wrong and, most importantly, you are not alone. People from all walks of life find themselves in this situation every day. Although it is often a difficult situation, support is available, and there are ways that these problems can be managed.
As the only national charity in Scotland that works solely on behalf of families affected by imprisonment, Families Outside is always a place you can turn to for support if needed.
Imprisonment of a household member is one of ten Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) known to have long-term impacts on the health and wellbeing. The most recent Scottish Prisoner Survey showed that 61% of people in prison have a child. In fact, more children experience the imprisonment of a parent each year than a parents’ divorce. Families Outside aims to help children understand the situation, reassure them that they are not alone, and help to maintain family relationships wherever possible and appropriate. It is often in children and families’ best interests to stay in contact with the person in prison, and the Families Outside team can help in setting up or maintaining this contact.
However, it is important to remember that family can have different meanings to different people. Families Outside supports all families affected by imprisonment, in whatever form they may take, as well as friends and other loved ones. This also includes people who might not want to have any contact at all with their family members in prison. It is important to remember that you have a right to choose and that you will be supported in whatever decision you make.
Often the first point of contact for families, the Families Outside Helpline can provide a range of support and information following the imprisonment of a loved one. They can help you understand what will happen at different stages of the justice process following your family member’s arrest, provide support to any children and young people in your family during this time, and help you access the support available to you from the prison and other relevant organisations and support systems.
Of course, there is no denying the common effects of imprisonment on families. When a family member goes to prison, there is often a financial cost beyond the loss of one of the household’s main breadwinners. Supporting someone in prison also comes at a significant cost. Recent research from Families Outside on the cost of imprisonment found that, for many families impacted by imprisonment, around a third of their income was spent on supporting the person in prison. Trying to cover these costs, as well as factoring in visits to prison, can take up a lot of time and energy. This might cause more stress on top of the emotional upheaval that comes from missing your loved one, uncertainty about the future, potential trauma surrounding their offence, and worry over their arrest, conviction, and release. This is natural, but it doesn’t mean that it is unmanageable, and you don’t have to go through it alone.
Many family members impacted by imprisonment report experiencing isolation and a loss of social connection as a result of supporting a loved one in prison. You may start to feel pressures building up, but it is important to consider your own physical and mental wellbeing. Even before it all starts to feel too much, don’t be afraid to reach out; there is no shame in asking for help, and there are plenty of people who are happy to be there for you. Families Outside also provides one-to-one support from our friendly Family Support Coordinators, who can offer an in-person support system. They can also provide direct, solution-focused, practical support to help with the day to day running of your life and reduce any feelings of being overwhelmed. This type of support covers the whole of Scotland and can be reached by contacting the Helpline.
Families Outside also offers families the space to provide their first-hand expertise on the justice system by taking part in our new online participation group, Outside Voices, which is available for families across the whole of Scotland to join. Families can have an active role in shaping our services and the services of others like us, as well as calling for change across the justice system. To take part, email the team at getinvolved@familiesoutside.org.uk.
Whatever situation you find yourself in, and whatever kind of support you may need, there are support systems in place where your voice will be heard and you will be really listened to, meaning you can do what is best for you and your family.